The beanSTOCKd Project

Beyonce BITES IT this week at her live Florida concert. This woman definitely takes the cake for Most Deceptive Face Plant of the year.

If everyone hadn’t been talking about it, I would have thought this was just a fancy new move that Beyonce’s choreographer added last minute to her already epileptic Ring the Alarm dance routine.

I need to learn from Beyonce. Maybe the next time I trip, flip and crash in front of a large group of people, I’ll just spring up matrix-style, swing my head around wildly as if to try to shake a some kind of deranged creature out of my hair, do a couple high kicks and then smile beguilingly at the hottest hipster in the crowd and say, “Beyonce, baby.”

Beyonce is definitely a trooper. I love this insane, insane woman.

You know what she should do? Her song “Green Light” should really be put to good use. Imagine a “Green Light, Green Night” party/charity event, hosted by Beyonce where all proceeds go to environmental organizations like us! Perhaps she’ll perform Ring the Alarm again, and perhaps this time during the final rendition of the chorus she’ll say, “get ready, new york!” and then fling herself Mary Catherine Gallagher style through a projector screen or something. That would be awesome.