The beanSTOCKd Project

Guess what we DID NOT SEE Wednesday night?

That’s right, Beck’s Chest.

After scoring his first goal for the Galaxy last Wednesday, he neglected to rip his shirt off. This serious oversight NEVER happened when he was with Manchester United or Real Madrid. They couldn’t get him to keep his clothes on. We’re baffled and bewildered by the crazy unexpected behavior of His Royal Hotness and frankly, extremely disappointed.

I mean, let’s get real. We’re not paying him $250 mil just to play soccer in the U.S. That kind of money is only used for basketball and football here. Americans don’t even watch soccer. So, obvi, we need a little sump’n sump’n for that supersized paycheck, Becko. We don’t want to have to tell you twice, so you’d best listen up now if you know what’s good for you and TAKE IT OFF.

If you’re not going to beautify the landscape with your luscious bod, we can def use that cash to plant some trees and clean up roadways. Or maybe a little project like rebuilding New Orleans? Let’s not be selfish, do your part to keep America beautiful before we send your ass back to England. Informr Bean

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