The beanSTOCKd Project

They both had a natural gas leak yesterday.

Gwyneth Paltrow, gaseous on account of the raw food diet, found herself slumped in a wheelchair rolling into Mt. Sinai Hospital yesterday. Word has it she was “fasting.” And by “fasting,” she means a diet of uncooked organic food.

That might seem really green—no cooking, no carbon—but everybody knows raw fruit makes you toot. That’s methane, and as a global warmer, it’s 20 times worse than CO2. Luckily, it’s so miniscule it barely throws off the net zero effect of Gwyneth’s raw orgo diet.

Poor Frisco wishes it got what Gwyneth was dealing. Their natural gas leak could be smelled a mile away.

Bacon Bits

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