Filed under: ridiculously good-looking
Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: harvard, Harvard Lampoon, Paris Hilton, Sex Toys
Guest writer J Camz
Filed under: Uncategorized
Wanna find out? Check out Streetstockd.
Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: Adderall, Britney Spears, Hollywood, Mary-kate Olsen, Nicole Richie, Sundance
Either everyone in Hollywood has ADD or Adderall is the latest ‘it’ diet. Or both.
Analysts were right when they said most trends are picked up from hyperactive kindergarteners and slutty preteens (think rhinestone barrettes, leggings, Limited Too written across the seat of your pants). The latest trend that Hollywood has adopted from the youth of the nation is Adderall, the wonderpill extraordinaire.
Nicole Richie and Britney Spears take Adderall for their “chronic ADD”. We buy it, but they’re definitely not overlooking the lightning speed emaciation and laserlike focus that comes with the package. In fact, it seems that the loyal Sundancers making the pilgrimage to Park City Utah will drinketh from the sweet nectar of cognitive enhancers. The town is currently overrun with overprescribed celebs ready to get their hands on swag bags — all filled with green goodies, of course. This year Sundance has gone eco-crazy on a mission to educate filmmakers and the media about reducing their carbon footprint, making the festival one of the most progressive celeb events this year.
Wonder if celebs’ll go so far as to power through the festivities with the help of some green addy alternative… perhaps ginkgo biloba laced cocaine?
Drizzler
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Filed under: fashion, Hillary Clinton, Victoria's Secret | Tags: fashion, fatism, Heckler, Hillary Clinton, Pink, Victoria's Secret
Last week in the middle of one of Hillary Clinton’s campaign speeches, some bellig fatty got up and chanted “Iron my shirt! Iron my shirt!” while waving a poster he most likely fingered in ketchup that morning waiting in line at the local In-N-Out.
Seems like young butterball’s efforts were pretty useless since they only proved Hillary’s point. Maybe that was the idea? No telling, but for all intents and purposes his stunt is at least providing millions of fat-ists across the globe hours of youtube entertainment.
If you’re going to demonstrate to make a point, do it right… like the Victoria’s Dirty Secret demo this fall by the Wetland Activism collective. By demonstrating, the group got Victoria’s Secret to make a long term commitment to saving the environment, even coming out with a green mini-collection under the designer’s Pink line.
Now let’s all go butter-finger a “One size fits all” poster. Drizzler
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Filed under: Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, water conservation | Tags: Katie Holmes, Scientology, Tom Cruise
Someone needs to punch the crazy out of Katie Holmes, to help her regain feeling if nothing else.
Tom Cruise has managed to suppress all traces of Katie’s once-effusive personality for this affected, pretentious “adult” wannabe. Oh, and he changed her name:
Tom Cruise: “Katie is a young girl’s name. Her name is Kate now. She’s a child-bearing woman.”
No comment.
Clearly, Team Beanstockd was too late to let her in on our little secret: lifestyle changes don’t require a shocking personality overhaul, even to handle something as overwhelming as playing mom to a test-tube baby and a 45-year old religious zealot manchild.
Where a green lifestyle change can be as small as taking a 10 minute shorter shower, playing Mrs. Cruise requires a full-blown lobotomy and year’s supply of slow-release percaset.
Kandz
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Filed under: Clinton, erosion, hillary, obama | Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, muckraking, race, soil erosion
The presidential candidate race is starting to get…dirty.
This week Hillary Clinton made a controversial comment about Martin Luther King which was taken by some as dismissive and offensive. Clinton claims that Obama is misrepresenting her words. John Edwards has picked his side on the issue, openly criticizing Clinton about the incident.
Let the dirt fly! But in moderation of course. A muckracking campaign is never truly legit. In the same way that muckracking threatens to destroy a perfectly good campaign, in the literal sense it threatens to destroy the planet. (Ok, so we’re reaching, shoot me). Soil erosion and land degredation account for nearly 30% of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions. Even more, these “silent global crises” can undermine food production and water availability.Sucks… almost as much as a racial slip-up by the white candidate in the first minority presidential free-for-all.. ouch.
Drizzler
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Filed under: water pollution, Zac Efron | Tags: Mary J. Blige, pharmaceuticals, pollution, Steroids, Zac Efron
This summer, as we traipsed down the gilded streets of Central Park South, who did we see but Mary J. Blige climbing out of a black Escalade and entering the Ritz Carlton. “Damn,” we said, “she looks good. Look at those biceps and possibly rock-hard abs. She must do pilates at least three times a week.”
In reality, apparently she does not. Ms. Blige’s toned bod may be the result of a little ‘roid poppage. MJB has just been charged (along with 50 cent, but that’s not too surprising) with the use of performance enhancing drugs. Timbaland, Tyler Perry, and Wyclef Jean are also under investigation.
Why would singers, producers and actors want to take steroids? Especially knowing that pharmaceutical products like these show up as pollutants in our water and cause ecological harm.
Which teaches us an important lesson: Make sure to Brita the hell out of your tap water next time you’re thirsty, or you may just wake up with quadriceps the size of Zac Efron’s head.
Drizzler
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Filed under: Climate | Tags: Brigitte Nielsen, Celebrity Rehab, Dr.Drew Pinksy, Jessica Sierra, Seth Binzer, VH1
Hollywood writers may be on strike, but lucky for us reality TV is alive and well in the new year.
VH1′s newest project “Celebrity Rehab With Doctor Drew” features a cast of F list celebrities and has-beens doing what they do best—talking about themselves. Stars like Brigitte Nielsen (we’re not actually sure what she’s famous for) , former Idol contestant Jessica Sierra, and Seth Binzer who was a member of the one hit wonder band Crazytown (don’t lie we all know you secretly loved the song “Butterfly”) seek the advice and support of our favorite Loveline host, Dr. Drew Pinsky.
The series follows the celebutards through their detoxification process as well as group therapy sessions that will surely produce enough hot air to cause some serious atomospheric damage (yep, climate change is in fact also causing the ozone layer to deplete, it’s not just a result of the phenomenon.)
The series premiers on Jan 10 and although we commend Dr. Drew in his quest to fight addiction, we’re not so sure these celebrities want the help. Maybe we should be focusing on bigger problems, like the fact that David Beckham has the largest carbon footprint known to man! Now there’s a celebrity that needs treatment for an addiction!
Jcamz
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…and then did they ask you a seemingly inane questions about Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby? If so, then you’ve been STOCKd.
Find out what NYC’s Lower East Siders think about pop culture and the environment at StreetSTOCKd.
