Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: John C. Reilly, Semi-Pro, Step Brothers, Will Ferrell
Get a load of these two.
Later this year, Will Ferrell—currently promoting his b-ball comedy “Semi-Pro”—will reunite with “Talladega Nights” co-star John C. Reilly in “Step Brothers.” The pair will play overgrown man-children whose single parents get married.
Remember when Chace Crawford totally demonstrated how divorce was bad for the planet? Well, blended families? They’re grrreat! (Sorry.) Larger households share resources and that’s good for the environment. (This also serves as a good mantra when feuding with roommates.)
Argyle sweaters vests? Greener than they’re full-sleeved brethren. Actually, we have no idea.
Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: Barack Obama, Barack Obama's Grandparents, Chelsea Clinton, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney's Hot Wife, Super Tuesday
After, of course, you’ve enjoyed some of our hilarity.
A while back we wrote about a new type of coal burning power plant that was able to sequester carbon and bury it safely underground. Construction was about to break ground in Illinois, but it’s not happening anymore.
“Too expensive.” Classic, Dubya! His Department of Energy put the kibosh on the project because new estimates put the price tag at $1.8 billion—up from $1.3 billion. Please, that’s not even a day in Iraq.
Baby steps. That’s kind of how we view this project—symbolic in so many ways. Think about the first time you tried to make brownies. They probably weren’t as good as Padma’s, but they were okay and somewhat effective nonetheless. The second time around? You were a pro. Just some food for thought (the power plant you wastoids) before you hit the polls.
Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: Paula Abdul, Ryan Seacrest, Super Bowl XLII, Whole Foods
A couple of quickies before the Giants beat the Patriots…
When Beanstockd opens its big fat yapper, things happen. We write about Barack Obama; he becomes the first minority to win a Presidential primary. We say end the strike; THE STRIKE ENDS! Well, that’s what the Hollywood Reporter is saying.
It’s too bad it couldn’t have happened sooner. Ryan Seacrest has no idea what he’s talking about on the Super Bowl pre-show. We know the Super Bowl is more than just a sporting event, but it is a sporting event. Please just say it already. SEACREST OUT!
PAULA IN! Yea, right. She gets points for waving her freak flag, but that’s about it. Fox is really embarrassing right now.
JUNK FOOD! Right now, at the Beanstockd Super Bowl party, we’re enjoying a wide array of organic snacks from Whole Foods! Okay, we’re lying. We’re not “enjoying” any snacks that don’t have a “proof.” Excuse me? What do you mean, “Just because we bought the Bud Light and Doritos at Whole Foods, it doesn’t mean they’re organic?” Whatever, at least we’re going to recycle all of these cans. And by recycle, we mean give them to the homeless guy that lives down the street.
Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: Barack Obama, Cape Wind Project, Caroline Kennedy, Edward Kennedy
While other candidates have been reduced to name-dropping (Reagan!), Barack Obama picked up endorsements from the first family of Democratic politics. Last week, JFK’s daughter Caroline endorsed Barack in The Times. A day later, Ted Kennedy hitched his wagon to the Obama campaign.
That’s great for Barack, but the political name game should be a two-way street. Last we checked Uncle Ted was still a Senator. After paying plenty of homage to renewable energy during his career, he’s been a major road block of the Cape Wind Project. He basically said “not in my backyard” to 130 turbines in Nantucket Sound claiming they’d hurt tourism and property value. Nice. They’d be five miles out and provide three quarters of the Cape and Islands’ electricity needs.
This type of bulls**t goes on daily in Washington. During his entire campaign, Obama has spoken about getting rid of special interests. Here, Teddy’s interests are quite special: the view from his compound in Hyannis. Your move, Barack.
Update: The Caroline Kennedy piece finally dropped off the most emailed list. Shamu is safe. The Cape Wind Project cleared a big hurdle—without the support of Senator Kennedy. Better get on board, Uncle Ted!
Filed under: Cate Blanchett, Oscar | Tags: Australian Conservation Foundation, Carmen Sandiego, I'm Not There, No Country For Old Men, Queen Elizabeth, There Will Be Blood, Who On Earth Cares
Queen Elizabeth made it to the finals of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego.
The VMAs were a huge bust. The boozy decadence of the Golden Globes was reduced to an hour-long Access Hollywood. Now, the Oscars might not happen? Please end the strike. Hell hath no fury like a Beanstockd deprived of glitz and glamour.
And begin. The Oscar nominations were announced and “No Country For Old Men” and “There Will Be Blood” stood out with eight each. “No Country” scared us more than “Jeepers Creepers” and “There Will Be Blood” is about oil, so we’re pulling for Cate Blanchett. With two more Oscar nods—one as Queen Elizabeth and one as a houndstooth-clad Bob Dylan—Cate continues to prove that she is one of the best actors on the planet.
And it’s a planet worth saving. Cate agrees. She’s the spokesperson for the Australian Conservation Foundation’s “Who On Earth Cares” initiative. It helps people generate letters to politicians expressing concern over global warming. So far, over 18,000 Aussies have taken part.
Now, if the Academy needs help generating witty banter…
Thanks for the
day off life lesson, Dr. King!
Filed under: Ashley Olsen, Jared Leto, Zac Efron | Tags: Ashley Olsen, Jared Leto, Zac Efron
If Zac wore more flamboyant guyliner, Ashley Olsen would be all over him.
It worked for Jared Leto. He and Ash were seen canoodling at the Art of Elysium gala in L.A. last week. No alert necessary, they’ve long been friends with bennies.
Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. We just hope they used a Condomi. They’re vegan lids that come in strawberry, chocolate, spearmint, and coconut flavors. Hopefully, they passed on the K-Y. That sh*t can’t be good for the planet.
Filed under: lance armstrong, Michael Bloomberg | Tags: Aquaduct, Innovative or Die, lance armstrong, Michael Bloomberg
Lance must not be gay-faced enough for Ash. It has been a while since we saw him shirtless and frisky with Matthew McConaughey.
Now that he’s single, we found Lance Armstrong cavorting with NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg at an event pushing for cancer reform. But with Bloomberg flirting with a run at the Oval Office (He’d be proactively green), this is just a fling.
Where does the glorious ten-speed rider go next? We suggest: water purification. A team of really smart people have built the “Aquaduct,” a tricycle that filters water as you pedal. Basically, you put dirty water in the trike and a system of pedal-powered tubes, pumps and filters cleans it. Lance is focusing on the Boston Marathon for now, so see for yourself.
Filed under: Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton | Tags: humanure, promession
Who would you let drive you home after a party? If you said Britney, you might wake up with her shoving krispy kremes and Olde English in your face, but at least you’d avoid the morgue. (She actually has something on Paris and Lindz: no DUIs, biotch!)
Because after LiLo’s dee-wee, the mortuary is exactly where she’s headed. It’s part of her court-ordered rehab. (We’d take it over what Paris got. Although…). The point is for Lindsay to see cadavers in various states of disarray, so she “thinks seriously” about what she did.
We thought about it and decided we’d let her perform our autopsy. On one condition: she properly compost our corpse. Traditional burials by their protective nature produce methane and cremation guzzles gas. We want to be “humanure.” It’s possible through “promession.” That means freeze-drying us and turning us into bacon bits for plants.
FWIW, we’d prob end up fed to a fungus that Lindsay later eats during a late-night bender.