The beanSTOCKd Project


VBecks spills all for Elle.. we ask, TMI? by beanstockd

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In a recent article, Posh relaxes the wrist permanently affixed to her hip to spill intimate details about her personal life. Although our first reaction to this unprompted overshare was just “too much info?” we also find her candor hilarious.

Choice quotes:

“I’m such a gay man trying to get out. I don’t give a shit what anybody thinks.”

“I could go shopping all day, which is what a lot of people think that I do. That’s their perception – that I’m a miserable bitch and go shopping all day and boss David about.”

“I sleep naked. You don’t sleep with David Beckham. I’m going to be naked if I’m getting in bed with him every night.”

Nice, V. We can imagine what that quote did for hubby’s colossal ego. Not to spread rumors, but maybe that explains this potential baby bump 4 sighting?

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If you’re going to procreate at this rate, at least consider dressing the divine offspring up in Farmerkids Organics — which reminds us of an organic Limited Too — who also supplies kids clothing to Brangelina’s ethnic army. Kandz

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Victoria Beckham and Victoria’s Secret: sharing first names and gravity-defying breasts by beanstockd

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It’s weirdly disorienting to see VBecks do something other than pose.

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Oh wait, posing again. Whew! That was close.

Everyone get your TiVo ready, the Spice Girls will be performing together again on Tuesday, December 4 on national television. Also, double get you TiVo ready, because the Victoria’s Secret Angels will be hosting the Spice Girls performance during their annual VS Fashion Show.

Hailed as the “Lingerie Event of the Century”, the VS Fashion show has never let viewers down; last year it blew us away with a performance by ass-grabbing Justin Timberlake. This year, the show will probs be three times as good, featuring artist Seal, Will.I.am, and of course, the Spice Girls.

This event is worthy of a Tequila Tuesday party, so invite your friends over and watch on your sweet Sharp Aquos energy-efficient TV. Throwing a TV watching party can cut down on individual household energy consumption (which, by the way, makes up 1/4 of the US’s total energy consumption), and watching supermodels in lingerie on an energy-efficient TV cuts down your energy bill by alteast $100. Which’ll be useful for all the pause, rewind, and re-playing you’ll be doing. Drizzler

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Victoria Beckham’s diet makes starvation look like fun by beanstockd
November 10, 2007, 2:38 am
Filed under: diet, tupperware, Victoria Beckham | Tags: , , ,

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Oh Lord. We think Victoria Beckham may actually go green without even realizing it.

With the Spice Girls world tour coming up doctors are a bit worried about the ability of our favorite rexatron, VBecks, to handle the physical strain of performance. To help her out, they’ve ordered Posh to change her steamed fish and soybeans diet to healthier, fatter one which consists of the following steps:

Step one: detox program. Could someone please explain to us what she has to detox from again? What possible toxins could you get from a diet of nothing and steamed veggies?

Step two: “fattening program” consisting of bowls of brown rice and steamed vegetables. Oh yes, and a handful of nuts everyday.

We wonder if VBecks actually ever directly consented to following the new diet. If she did, we’re sure she’s got some tricks up her sleeve for those day she feels guilty about consuming the 85 extra calories in a handful of almonds; so that instead of chomping them down she can stow em away in some eco-friendly tupperware – in that way, not only will she avoid wasting disposable plastic or paper carrying bags, but she will also guarantee the visibility of a collarbone that could cut through glass. RS

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Posh Spice is grounded and the rest might be, too by bradydale

The first time we read something that said the Spice Girls might have to cancel their Reunion Tour because Victoria Beckham had a chest infection, we thought it had something to do with her implants. I mean, the first thing you think when you hear “chest infection” and see those is that nothing so unnatural could remain without an all out assault by the body.

Are you with us? So, we went, “Wow, gangrene of the boob and all she’s thinking about is whether or not the show will go on? She’s so brave and an inspiration to us all.”

It turns out she just has a cold. A bad one. One she just can’t shake.

Well, Posh, my love, that’s what you get when you plan to go on a world reunion tour with 5 private jets! Mother Earth sends out a viral reprisal and grounds your whirlwind of fossil fuel waste. Vix, listen, the $25 million they’re giving you for this thing is a lot, but even if you put it all into carbon offsets it wouldn’t make up for A) 5 jets and B) the noise pollution. So stay home, wear a sweater, have some chicken noodle soup. Keep the Spice Girls Blog updated. The hubby is pulling down ten times as much, this year, anyway.

And keep that bionic chest of yours as healthy as you can.

BradyDale

@BradyDale

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