The beanSTOCKd Project

Britney Spears: Living metaphor for planet earth by beanstockd
August 8, 2007, 8:01 pm
Filed under: Britney Spears, Charity, Las Vegas

Britney Spears threw a baby bottle and threatened to kill two photographers after they took pictures of her leaving a Las Vegas spa on Tuesday.
In response to this news, my colleague laid out a simple, yet foolproof plan to save Britney via gmail chat.
Colleague: i feel like i need to sit down and talk to her.

Me: she does need a good talking to.

Colleague: maybe i will call her.

Colleague: i think under my influence

like maybe if we hang out for a while

i think i could bring her back to the glory days.

and then i could be all positive and be like yeah brit your abs are crazy.

keep going girl.


But seriously though, I really do wish that someone would just set her straight. Just imagine what the world would be like if Britney got her act together. She would revive her music career, maybe do a little acting/modeling on the side, get a Grammy and an Oscar nod, get some crazy abs, and give Jessica Biel the bitch slap she deserves and get back together with JT.
It could be perfect, AND Brit could resume her charitable work that many of us don’t know about, and that the media refuses to pay attention to. Did you know that in 2005 Britney Spears donated a total of $590,000 to various charitable causes? I’m sorry, but even though she’s effed up majorly this year, I’m putting down my coffee right now and giving her snaps.
You know what would be pretty sweet? If Britney would extend some of that goodwill to green causes. A rehabilitated Britney as the voice of a new green generation– what could be more awesome?
It would also be awesome if she hosted and performed at a concert whose proceeds went to climate change research and it was in the rain forest and she could sing I’m a Slave for You but the 2007 remix. When she does it, and gets really famous again in a good way, just remember who suggested it.

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[…] So true, son. Now we’re desperately hoping that Britney is not the living metaphor for planet earth that we had earlier predicted. […]

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