The beanSTOCKd Project

Keith Richards laces coke with his fathers ashes by beanstockd
August 8, 2007, 11:13 pm
Filed under: Keith Richards, USA Today

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father,” – Keith Richards. (We’re not even making this shit up)

Who are we loving more than ever? The only man who still baffles us just by having a pulse– Keith Richards. The creative spirit is living strong and spicing up his regular drug routine — and when he wants a new drug, he doesn’t f* around. He’s sucking pollutants out of our environment, by snorting them up his nose.

Ashes to ashes, dust to global warming. Black carbon particles in the air absorb sunlight and amplify the effects of global warming, according to a study conducted by the National Science Foundation. Companies that produce overwhelming amounts of dust and soot are screwing our climate.

Mr. Richards is doing his part to prevent global warming and dimming by reducing his ash, soot and dust emissions. Instead of scattering his loved one’s ashes in park, sprinkling them over the sea, cherishing them in an urn, he took the eco high road and recycled his dad by internalizing the pollution. Voms.

Originally, Richards claimed that he mixed a pinch dad with a line of coke, but then he took it back and admitted that no, in fact, he took el padre straight up. (We can’t believe we’re writing this.)

Richards’ publicist denied the whole affair in USA today, but we know if anyone could come up with such an ingenious recycling plan, Keith’s our man.

beanSTOCKr Alison

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