The beanSTOCKd Project

Owen Wilson Says No to Rehab; Yes to “Sober Companion” by Bacon Bits
September 14, 2007, 5:17 am
Filed under: Cooters, Owen Wilson, The Green Book

Meet Owen Wilson’s babysitter. A cross between Joey Buttafuoco and Artie Lange, this jean shorts wearing guy is being paid $750 a day to keep Owen from chasing the dragon–and, by the looks of it, off the carbs.

If we had this guy hanging on us 24/7, we wouldn’t want to be seen in public either, so maybe Wilson knew what he was doing after all when he hired Mr. Debbie Downer to keep him away from the drugs and booze.

Far from perfect, we understand that one can never be vice-less…right? So, we think Owen should be allowed a guilty pleasure that leaves no carbon footprint and has never made anyone suicidal, we like to call them gentleman’s clubs. A model patron, he rode his bike to Scores, the famed NYC strip club, earlier this summer proving that it’s not about getting there, it’s about getting off. Seriously though, nothing washes away that post-lap-dance feeling of perversion like being green and riding your bike home.

Bacon Bits

add to :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

[…] 3:21 am Filed under: Alternative Energy, Britney Spears, Owen Wilson Somebody needs to call Owen Wilson’s babysitter, stat, because we’ve got a new emergency on our […]

Pingback by Spears to Rock Bottom: It’s Britney, Bitch! « The beanSTOCKd Project

[…] winner and runs an eco-blog. Owen the Cutter bought solar panels for a Bronx housing project and rides his bike to Scores. Simpson? She’s been “Green Approved” by some guy who wants to paint her with […]

Pingback by Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson Have Their First Date « The beanSTOCKd Project

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: