The beanSTOCKd Project


Happy New Year! by Bacon Bits

The most popular question we get is: Hey Beanstockd, what should I like in 2008 (aside from this given)…and how should I act?

Well, we’re not in the business of telling peeps how to live their lives, but we will tell you about a few things coming your way in the New Year.

In the theater of self, we have the opulent nuptials of Vogue staffer/socialite Lauren Davis in Colombia. Obviously, there was a mild shitstorm when the invitations were handed out. Nan Kempner is crying in her grave wondering what happened to real socialites.

In the theater of movies, you’ll get a lot more Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen stuff. And now that “Borat” has been retired, Sacha Baron Cohen is making a “Brüno” movie. Yes, we just used an umlaut.

Droppin’ babies! J-Lo and Xtina are both having kids, but we wanna see Nicole Ritchie’s child.

Bottoms up! Zoe Kravitz (Lenny’s kid w/ Lisa Bonet) is makin’ moves. An aspiring socialite/actress/model, Zoe has momentum going into 2008.

Speaking of momentum, or lack thereof, how about Lenny Kravitz’s toilet? We’ve done our research when it comes to waste management, so we know a thing or two about the glorious green properties of the crapper. Has Zoe’s dad been reading? He was sued three years in a row for clogging his commode and flooding the downstairs neighbors—but not in 2007! See, Dulcolax does work! Hopefully for his neighbors, Lenny can keep this streak alive in ’08.

Bacon Bits

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[…] symonsvalley article is brought to you using rss feeds.The latest modeling and modeling agency news for new and undiscovered talent.J-Lo and Xtina are both having kids, but we wanna see Nicole Ritchie’s child. Bottoms up! Zoe Kravitz (Lenny’s kid w/ Lisa Bonet) is makin’ moves. An aspiring socialite/actress/model, Zoe has momentum going into 2008. … […]

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