The beanSTOCKd Project

Katie Holmes needs a punch to the face by beanstockd
January 16, 2008, 4:02 pm
Filed under: Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, water conservation | Tags: , ,

Someone needs to punch the crazy out of Katie Holmes, to help her regain feeling if nothing else.

Tom Cruise has managed to suppress all traces of Katie’s once-effusive personality for this affected, pretentious “adult” wannabe. Oh, and he changed her name:

Tom Cruise: “Katie is a young girl’s name. Her name is Kate now. She’s a child-bearing woman.”

No comment.

Clearly, Team Beanstockd was too late to let her in on our little secret: lifestyle changes don’t require a shocking personality overhaul, even to handle something as overwhelming as playing mom to a test-tube baby and a 45-year old religious zealot manchild.

Where a green lifestyle change can be as small as taking a 10 minute shorter shower, playing Mrs. Cruise requires a full-blown lobotomy and year’s supply of slow-release percaset.


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6 Comments so far
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Dude, she has no idea who her kid is. She didn’t know what her first word was. Because it’s not her baby. Tom Cruise is gay

Comment by O. Brown

I heard this before too that Cruise is a gay, is that true?


Comment by Armine Abrahamyan


Comment by O. Brown

no seriously though. katie is just actress-in-need-of-a-career-boost smokescreen/wife number two for dear old tom. ever noticed that her baby is part asian?? the end.

Comment by O. Brown

TC has a thing for asian boys. Except Suri is a girl so he won’t molest her.

Comment by Teezy

She’s not wife number two. She’s wife number three

Comment by Hellolisare

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