The beanSTOCKd Project


Katie Holmes needs a punch to the face by beanstockd
January 16, 2008, 4:02 pm
Filed under: Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, water conservation | Tags: , ,

Someone needs to punch the crazy out of Katie Holmes, to help her regain feeling if nothing else.

Tom Cruise has managed to suppress all traces of Katie’s once-effusive personality for this affected, pretentious “adult” wannabe. Oh, and he changed her name:

Tom Cruise: “Katie is a young girl’s name. Her name is Kate now. She’s a child-bearing woman.”

No comment.

Clearly, Team Beanstockd was too late to let her in on our little secret: lifestyle changes don’t require a shocking personality overhaul, even to handle something as overwhelming as playing mom to a test-tube baby and a 45-year old religious zealot manchild.

Where a green lifestyle change can be as small as taking a 10 minute shorter shower, playing Mrs. Cruise requires a full-blown lobotomy and year’s supply of slow-release percaset.

Kandz

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6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Dude, she has no idea who her kid is. She didn’t know what her first word was. Because it’s not her baby. Tom Cruise is gay

Comment by O. Brown

I heard this before too that Cruise is a gay, is that true?

-armine

Comment by Armine Abrahamyan

yes.

Comment by O. Brown

no seriously though. katie is just actress-in-need-of-a-career-boost smokescreen/wife number two for dear old tom. ever noticed that her baby is part asian?? the end.

Comment by O. Brown

TC has a thing for asian boys. Except Suri is a girl so he won’t molest her.

Comment by Teezy

She’s not wife number two. She’s wife number three

Comment by Hellolisare




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