Filed under: Beanstockd | Tags: Adderall, Britney Spears, Hollywood, Mary-kate Olsen, Nicole Richie, Sundance
Either everyone in Hollywood has ADD or Adderall is the latest ‘it’ diet. Or both.
Analysts were right when they said most trends are picked up from hyperactive kindergarteners and slutty preteens (think rhinestone barrettes, leggings, Limited Too written across the seat of your pants). The latest trend that Hollywood has adopted from the youth of the nation is Adderall, the wonderpill extraordinaire.
Nicole Richie and Britney Spears take Adderall for their “chronic ADD”. We buy it, but they’re definitely not overlooking the lightning speed emaciation and laserlike focus that comes with the package. In fact, it seems that the loyal Sundancers making the pilgrimage to Park City Utah will drinketh from the sweet nectar of cognitive enhancers. The town is currently overrun with overprescribed celebs ready to get their hands on swag bags — all filled with green goodies, of course. This year Sundance has gone eco-crazy on a mission to educate filmmakers and the media about reducing their carbon footprint, making the festival one of the most progressive celeb events this year.
Wonder if celebs’ll go so far as to power through the festivities with the help of some green addy alternative… perhaps ginkgo biloba laced cocaine?
Drizzler
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Brit, Britney, career suicide, diet | Tags: Britney Spears, Gasoline
Lou Taylor, a spokesperson for the Spears family, recently told The Today Show that Dr. Phil’s latest attempts to help Britney “caused additional damage” for the troubled star. Taylor claimed that Dr. Phil “violated the trust of Britney Spears’ parents” by making public statements about his visit with her in the hospital.
Let’s be honest. Did Dr. Phil really make the situation worse for Britney Spears? I think we all knew Britney was losing her marbles the moment she started walking around barefoot in gas stations. The girl practically lives at the gas station. What better place to stock up on Cheetos and beef jerky? Maybe she would lose that baby weight and stop frequenting Chevrons if she converted her car into a “greaser” – a car that is able to “burn leftover food-grade vegetable oil.” Put the oil into your car rather than your pie hole. Aha! Now that’s a fab diet.
Aja
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Britney Spears, Energy consumption | Tags: Britney Spears, Energy consumption, kevin federline, Las Vegas, Pure Nightclub
After police and paradmedics were sent to Britney Spears’ residence yesterday, Kevin Federline was given sole custody of their two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Apparently when Kevin’s bodyguard game to pick up the boys as scheduled in their court papers, Britney refused to give them up. The police were called to resolve the dispute, and when they arrived, they felt that paramedics needed to be called for Britney. The reason why is still unknown.
Didn’t Britney lose custody of her kids last week? You know, after that one time she lost Tater Tot in the wholesale Colombian drug section of Costco last month? Either way, without the kids distracting her, Britney will be using the saved energy on one of her favorite past-times, raging in Vegas. It’s a win-win situation.
How else can one save energy in Vegas? By visiting the International Consumer Electronics Convention, where we learned about automating our homes with technology that reduces energy consumption. Look out, Pure, we’re about to energy-save the hell out of your strobe lights!
Aja
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Britney Spears, Energy efficiency | Tags: Britney Spears, ENERGY STAR, Jamie Lynn Spears, nyc
Looks like Britney was the last to find out that her 16-year-old sister was pregnant. Asked by x17online about her thoughts on her sister’s pregnancy, Britney replied with, “My sister is not pregnant. Whatever.”
Wow. Just wow. Britney’s so out of it that she finds out that her own flesh and blood sister is pregnant just like the rest of us…by reading the tabloids.
We’re guessing that the familial disconnect is due to Britney’s six-year plummet from the pinnacle of her career in 2001 (think Toxic) during which she got married twice, divorced twice, and had two kids… which would no doubt cause some beef in the Spears family. On the other hand, the past six years have been great to NYC, during which more than 10,800 New York ENERGY STAR Labeled Homes in the city have significantly reduced energy use and emissions of greenhouse gasses. We think the two are somehow inversely related. Aja
Addendum: Apparently Jamie Lynn and her statutory-rape-beau have already broken up!
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Britney Spears | Tags: Britney Spears, music video, Piece of Me
“Piece of Me” was a great song…until we got the visual
After the magnificent success of the “Gimme More” instructional video for strippers, Britney Spears returns with yet another visual gem. “Piece of Me” is surprisingly good-ish, but it’s pretty clear that Britters doesn’t have the same spunk she did when she slipped into her first pleather cat suit.
Piece of Me features a solo Brit chilling in front of a wall of energy efficient LED fairy lights while “dancing.” But she’s not fooling anyone; after the first few minutes it’s pretty evident that Brit knows her career has fallen flatter than the Olsen’s chests.
Maybe it’s her new meth light diet or the fact that she needs not one but four hot blonde body doubles to make up for her not so sexy midsection, but either way our hearts go out to her. Even worse, the editing department seems to have a personal vendetta out for Britters. During the oh so classy bathroom dance sequence, (and get this, Brit’s sporting shoes!) it seems that our girl has speedily and not so subtly shed a few lbs.
All in all, Piece of Me, like Britney, stumbles, but doesn’t fall. JCamz
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Conservation, green lifestyle | Tags: Atom Films, Britney Spears, Elf, Green Christmas, Santa Claus
Vodpod videos no longer available.
This video ends with the line, “Conservation doesn’t have to be lame.” Creepy Clip Art Elf sings it and then Downs’ Syndrome Santa repeats it, just to make sure you got it. Well, Conservation doesn’t have to be lame and this video didn’t have to be, either.
Look, we know that this is the season to criticize excessive consumption. Between driving to buy stuff and driving to return stuff (not to mention the stuff), we could all use to take it a little easier on resources around now.
That said, the only thing this video will accomplish is sales for the new Britney Spears album when the dundering beat of its muzak drives viewers to Itunes and they download the first thing that might drown it out.
We dig the message and all, but the only reason to sit through this thing is to see Rudolph nearly drown when Global Warming makes the ice too thin to hold him (we hated that little dweeb in his made-for-tv stop-motion-nonsense, even as kids). Otherwise, thanks, Atom Films, for your email; we wanted to help but this video is singlehandedly setting back the green movement 2 years. —BradyDale
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Britney Spears, China, pollution | Tags: adoption, Britney Spears, China
Britney Spears is currently in talks with a Chinese adoption agency. She wants to adopt twins…which raises some questions.
Q1: Are you allowed to adopt if American courts think you’re unfit to take care of your own biological offspring?
Q2: Does Britney live under a rock? Does she not know that all the big stars are adopting babies from Africa these days?
Q3: Are you allowed to engage “in talks” with anyone if you’re pulling stunts like running over a paparazzo’s foot in your Escalade and driving without a valid license? And managing to run through 3 stoplights?
Q4: Are we misjudging Britters? Could this adoption be a move of environmental good will? Is she looking to China for adoption because she hopes to save a pair of twins by taking them away from the world’s most polluting country and bringing them to…the world’s other most polluting country? Yeah, wait take that back. We def have not misjudged.
L.A. attorneys plan to put Spears on 12 months probation for driving without a license. If the Chinese know what’s good for them, they’ll give the kiddies to Angelina instead. At least she hires a driver. Greenhorne
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Britney Spears, oil spills, Salma Hayek | Tags: Britney Spears, clean up, disaster, oil spills, prayer, Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek prayed for large breasts when she was a kid. It worked.
She’s not the only that believes in the power of prayer. The Hollywood Prayer Network is a membership organization of 5,000 Christians who make it their business to pray for the stars. The idea is that they can turn stars lives around by praying for them. If that works, then they can turn celebs into evangelizers who will use their fame to spread the gospel.
If you think it sounds like a great big excuse for Bible thumpers to guiltlessly watch the juicy shows on TV, well, we didn’t say anything about it. You’re just cynical.
Anyway, judging by Salma, prayer does work. Betting all your chips on Hollywood’s scandal machines seems a little misguided though. Why not try praying for something you know would do some good? Like, pray that oil tankers would quit wrecking? On November 7th, we had a huge spill outside of San Francisco. Then, on Sunday, another one in the Russian Black Sea. Both of these disasters were avoidable. In the Russian case, captain set sail despite clear warnings of unsafe conditions. In San Francisco… well, in San Francisco they hit a freaking bridge.
Hollywood might be hopeless, but maybe we can quit sinking massive ships full of toxic material? Some disasters you can prevent and some you can’t.
Know what we’re saying? –BradyDale
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Filed under: Alternative Energy, Britney Spears, Owen Wilson | Tags: Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, Carl's Jr., Owen Wilson, Star Jones, waste vegetable oil
Somebody needs to call Owen Wilson’s babysitter, stat, because we’ve got a new emergency on our hands.
A Los Angeles judge slapped Britney Spears with a heavy dose of tough love today when he granted her ex-hubby, Kevin Federline, full custody of their baby boys. Britney had until noon on Wednesday to give the kids to K-Fed, but she chose not to delay the inevitable. She handed them over today–but not before making one last trip to Carl’s Jr…which is surprisingly green (kind of) for a burger company.
By 2010, their main franchiser plans to have its entire fleet of trucks running on waste vegetable oil from its restaurants. If you haven’t heard about this before, cars can actually be converted to run on used vegetable oil, a clean-burning alternative to gasoline.
As for what’s next for Brit Brit, she might pull an Amy Winehouse and continue abusing booze and nose-candy (and finally drop the baby weight). Or, she could pull a pre-gastric bypass Star Jones and drown her misery in cheeseburgers (and produce more used grease for Carl’s Jr.).
Bacon Bits
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
The beanSTOCKd Project 
